Wednesday, April 18, 2007

UGH - Trying To Be Nice is Hard

(This is NOT a happy post - It does not have a happy ending - It is the simple truth of how I feel - If you want a well formed message with a great spiritual application - this is not the post for you - this is a RAW flush of feelings! Please understand that if you choose to read it)

Knowing in your head to love your enemies is a lot easier than actually doing it.

I was doing so well and quite proud of myself last week when I explained a solution to a problem faced by a person I detest at my church. I thought I was being kind and then once explaining the solution to the problem the person would be out of my hair, and I could pat myself on the back for showing "love" to my enemy.

That was until today, when the person manifested the real reason why I consider them my enemy. This person emailed me needing a FIRM DATE as to when the problem would be solved at the church. I mean it's not like I don't have 3 small children at home. I didn't volunteer to FIX the problem, I just volunteered HOW to fix the problem. Now, judging from past experiences, I will get emails and phone calls CONSTANTLY from this person.

Last year I was going to find a new church to worship and serve with SOLELY because of this person. Though I decided against that, I did decide that I could not serve in ANY ministry this person was involved with. Things have been great for the 9 months since I avoided this person. However the FIRST conversation I have had in 9 months and it is back to the same CRAP as before.

HOW?
HOW?
HOW?
HOW, Do I Love My Enemy?

I want to be the right person and do the right thing. I want to embrace the challenge of Christ call! Yet, I don't have time to spend the 2 hours it will take to fix this issue. It is times like this I think I SHOULD have left this church, since I can not deal with this person and I KNOW it is my problem . I KNOW it is my inability to LOVE like CHRIST loves!

Well, I am off to torment myself on whether or not to even GO to church tonight!



1 comment:

Scott said...

I would suggest calmly explaining that you won't be able to personally fix said problem, but that you would be happy to help find someone who can. Not knowing what the problem is that needs fixin' could make this sound like a bunch of crap, but being part of the solution may benefit both of you. Helping to find the fixer shows you are willing to collaborate, and gets you off the hook for the actual work. Just my $0.02. Good luck, and go to church.