God, Worry & Enjoyment

This slogan has been found on the placards of the British public transportation system since October of last year. It has naturally caught the attention and protest of many Christian groups, from those working to refute it's message, to those attempting to censor it's message.

Let me go on record here to say that speaking for myself I endorse the ad campaign and the wonderful conversation it brings to the dinner table, to the coffee shop, and to the pub (that's my English reference... I'd say bar if it were an American campaign... but this is cultural awareness at work)

Naturally, to any of you who know me, I am not saying I AGREE that there is no God. If you do not know me take a quick perusal through the content of my previous posts and you will see I am radically convinced of God's existence and equally celebratory of his incarnational entrance into the story of man.

I am most impressed with the wording of their ad as well, because if we allow it to it brings not one but three important questions to the forefront for our discussion. First, and most obviously the ad's question is the existence of God. Rather than getting baited by the first question, let's look at the other two questions.

The second question I see is, "Does the Biblical narrative encourage fear and worry the way the modern church does? The story of God is that HE came to be a part of the story of man, and the reason for that coming was his desire to end the fear and worry. Jesus tell Nicodemus that he did not come to condemn the world. Jesus repeats this idea when he tells the adulterous woman that he does not condemn. Jesus' life and ministry had an abundance of condemnation for the morally superior and religiously self righteous, yet never did one hear any words of reproof against the broken, rejected, smoldering reeds of his culture. Those who wish to use the power of religion for the own control repeat the same sins of the religious elite of Jesus' day when they paint God as an angry and loathsome, and themselves as the brokers of mediation with him. Jesus' own words are meant to tell the world, to stop worrying because they are already alright with God. In order to prove his words, he as God himself took on the entirety of sin in his own selfless life surrendering action, so that no man or woman ever need worry again about where they stand with God.

This of course leads us to the third question posed by the ad, "Do you enjoy your life?" So much of the Christian world's rhetoric seems to have a deep seated hatred of what it means to be human. Humanity is God's creation! God loves mankind! Yes, he is troubled by the destructive nature of many pursuits that mankind has endeavored to pursue. This is not because he rejects man, but instead because he embraces us the crown of his creativity. I remember being taught in my late teen years that God must hate humanist, then later realizing that God himself is the ultimate humanist. God's humanism goes so far he has perpetually engaged with man, to help him discover the fullness of what he created to be. I am reminded of the scene in Little Mermaid when the seagull uses a fork as a comb. I love this because a fork makes and effective comb, but not nearly as effectively as it makes a fork. Mankind can find enjoyment, but the nature of God is that He desires his creation to have abundant life, and that takes knowing the only power in the universe that can direct you to knowing what it means to be a fork that functions as a fork, rather than as a comb.

This post does not begin to do these ideas justice. I feel like everything I have written is painfully incomplete to express myself to either side. I post it anyway, not because I think I have definitive answers which will change to humanist to believers, and propel believers into God's better plan where Love drives out fear. I post it because I think the conversation is important. I post it because I think we need to be present in diverse communities where we can wrestle with these, and many other ideas about what it means to be human, and to be that to the fullest. I post it because I hope some people who are not yet part of the conversation might see that dialog is better than debate, and be inspired to think about these issues.

On a final note, to the people at Atheist Bus I say great job, way to facilitate a dialog. When you're ready to bring the campaign to America, I'm definitely on board for the ride!

Simple Things With Great Love

The Simple Way has made popular the Mother Theresa quote, "Do no great things, just simple things with great love." I was sent a video clip that illustrated that so wonderfully. I am not a fan of football, but the simple decision of this Texas coach will inspire you.

Swazi Mission - February Update

I get asked a lot if we are still leaving for Swaziland. I can only answer, "Yes, I still feel the Lord is leading us there." However I do understand, that after a year and little having appeared to change in our lives where the question come from.

So in order to elivate the wonder, I decided maybe I should start doing monthly newsletters. To a certain point, I worry about these month after month stating the same problem, "waiting on the house to sell." I still feel people would like this reminder.

On another note, I guess it is better to have MORE PEOPLE praying for the sell of the house. We are very anxious to transition into this work, but we must sell our house in order to do so. I do ask you to join us in praying toward that end.

Anyway, without further ado February 2009 Bowman Newsletter

Nsoko Clinic Is Finished

When the Lord sells our home we will be moving to be a part of the work in Nsoko, Swaziland. This footage is of the new clinic whose construction has just been completed and will soon be operating serving the local community.


Nsoko clinic tour 2/09 from Karen Barnes on Vimeo.

INTP - I Think Not Typealyzer

I checked out this fun expirement in artificial intelligence today. http://www.typealyzer.com seeks to us AI to determine the personality type of the author of a blog. The site nailed me as an INTP which I am not. I in fact always register as an ENFP on these types of test. I am not surprised by the T instead of an F because I am usually fairly evenly spread with a slight favoritism toward feeling over thinking. The part I found most humorus was the I, since anyone who knows me would find any introverted trait in me to be farsical.

After playing with the other fun tools, the genderanalyzer.com and ofaust.com based on their AI models I am left to wonder, do I use the mind of an introverted woman to produce bourgeois literature?

Not By Strength or By Power, but by my Spirit

I am in North Carolina on a business trip. I drove from Nashville where I dropped off my wife and kids out here today. 8 hours in a car by yourself is a long time when you are an extrovert like I am. I did have the audio book of Watchman Nee's, "The Normal Christian Life" which I listened to and very challenged by. Brother Nee asked as his treatise in one section, "What is holding you back from more fullness in Christ?"

I spent a few hours at the office and was then left to go be by myself till tomorrow morning. I prayed and asked the Lord where his church would be gathered tonight, and he led me to the Zadok House of Prayer. It was a strange experience for me, being led there by the Lord. Within the first 30 minutes of being there, I was quite convinced I had misheard the Spirit's leading. I don't mean that to say, that I thought it was not the church, but instead, I did not see what it would produce in me.

As I arrived and walked through the door the director was preaching, I stood in the back for a few minutes hoping to be greeted. I wanted to make a human connection. As is the problem I so often find entering meetings of Christian's is I was unnoticed and left to fend for myself in this entirely foreign environment. I found a seat to listen.

The topic of the evening was being a forerunner to the prophecy's of the end time. I must confess that the revelation of God about the end times that I have received, has little in common with a major school of thought in eschatology, and so I thought it was an odd fit, but still I felt that God had a message for me.

After the preaching had concluded, the meeting broke up for a few minutes before the next period of worship and intercession began. In this time, I continued to sit in my chair, and was still ungreeted. At this point I am wondering, "Why God have you led me here to leave me unmet?"

As the worship and intercession began, the session leader announced that this segment would be to interceded for the nation because of our president and his culture of death. I rolled my eyes, and pondered between joining the intercession, which I was opposed to topic or leaving.

• On a side note, I am fiercely pro-life, however I believe that battle needs to be fought in the hearts and minds of girls, and in the priorities and habits of the church to provide care and structure to those girls whose hearts and minds are changed. The repeal of Roe V Wade with out a church ready to receive her commission to the brokenness that leads to this epidemic would only be more destructive.

As I sat, I decided the Lord had led me here, and better to be in the presence of praise that alone in a hotel room, so I stayed. I stayed, and I interceded not for the politicians or the babies, as there were plenty in attendance ready to intercede on those behalfs. I interceded on behalf of the mothers. Those precious daughters of God who are forced to choose the horror because the oppression in their life has led them to feel there is no other option.

Here is the prayer I typed into my phone and then read back to the Lord as we worshiped:

May we be you body so the mother sees she has value as more than an object

May we be your body so the mother can receive love so she can then act in love

May we renounce our participation in this culture of death by repenting of the attitude that children are ordained by any other than you.

May we renounce our greed that causes us to buy more for ourselves rather than to supply to those who feel they have no life to give

May we have an ethic of life that takes In the rejected of this world so mothers may know there is a place she and her child will never be rejected

May we care not only for unborn, but for those born into captivity, oppression, and poverty in our country and in our world.

Cut off your church's leg so that she will crawl back to you rather than walk past the pain that leads to this decision.

Cut off your church's hands that she will steal no more of the gifts you have blessed her with from being given to meet these needs.

Redeem FIRST your Church to life, to life, to life. So that she may have LIFE to give to those whose hope is only to take life.

So after about an hour and half the session transferred form intercession to a period of just worship. I used this time to inquire of God. I asked God the question from Brother Nee, "Tell me Lord what is holding me back from more fullness with you?" As I prayed it one of the band members said, "This is a word of Lord for the long haired guy in the black shirt." I looked up from my prayer and looked at her. She sang, "Not By Strength or By Power, but by my Spirit" Over and over again, in the VERY MINUTE I ASKED, the Lord gave me this answer.

I left a few minutes after the worship session, still having not be welcomed, greeted, or met by the church assembled there. Yet, I know it was the church God called me to this night, because God met me through the work of the church, and the word given to the musician. I was in God's perfect timing, met by God to meet my greatest need.

I need more Christ! I will get him, "Not By Strength or By Power, but by my Spirit!"

A Slave To God - Watchman Nee

How did I become the slave of the Lord? On His part He bought me, and on my part I presented myself to Him. By right of redemption I am God’s property, but if I would be His slave I must willingly give myself to Him, for He will never compel me to do so.

The trouble with many Christians today is that they have an insufficient idea of what God is asking of them. How glibly they say: ‘Lord, I am willing for anything.’ Do you know that God is asking of you your very life? There are cherished ideals, strong wills, precious relationships, much-loved work, that will have to go; so do not give yourself to God unless you mean it. God will take you seriously, even if you did not mean it seriously.

When the Galilian boy brought his bread to the Lord, what did the Lord do with it? He broke it. God will always break what is offered to Him. He breaks what He takes, but after breaking it He blesses and uses it to meet the needs of others. After you give yourself to the Lord, He begins to break what was offered to Him. Everything seems to go wrong, and you protest and find fault with the ways of God. But to stay there is to be no more than just a broken vessel—no good for the world because you have gone too far for the world to use you, and no good for God either because you have not gone far enough for Him to use you. You are out of gear with the world, and you have a controversy with God. This is the tragedy of many a Christian.

My giving of myself to the Lord must be an initial fundamental act. Then day by day I must go on giving to Him, not finding fault with His use of me but accepting with praise even what the flesh revolts against.

May I be dead, so that I am alive only to what Christ is doing through me!

Not Giving But Utilizing

One of my beloved Martin Luther King Jr quotes is "When you are right, you can not be too radical..." In honor of MLK day today I am committed to focus my mind's attention on areas that call me to radical lifestyle change. I enjoy being right, but as the quote points out, right with out radical transformation is of little value to becoming the ones we are waiting for.

The difference between identification with society and the radical's ability to enact transformation into that society lies in the difference between the person willing to give their resources and the person willing to utilize their resources.

The giver, waits on the edge of problems, observing and seeking opportunity to enable the work of those in the fray through their resources. The utilizer dives in deep to the brokenness that surrounds them, and wields their resources as a tool to bring wholeness. The giver sends professionals, while the utilizer spends themselves. While the giver mourns the lack of qualified specialist, the utilizer sharpens his own awareness through practice.

MLK Jr looked into the face of systemic injustice and realized there was no panel of experts able to solve the issue given enough time and money. MLK Jr looked into the broken prejudices of his time and utilized himself and his belief in God's perfect plan of love and nonviolence. MLK Jr recognized the problem was too big for anyone to have anything to give, so instead he inducted himself and inspired others into the work of laboring their resources to break the partiality of their society's oppression.

Today I encourage you, as I encourage myself to live radical. Live like the citizens of another Kingdom. Live like ones who believe the resource of love totally utilized can save the world, since in fact, it already has.

The Wrestling Dream

I had a dream last. In my dream my friend Big John introduced me to a friend of his who was working his way through the ranks of professional wrestling. He was not yet on level with a WWF, but this was his goal and he was moving toward this. In the course of conversation I ended up somehow (I actually don't remember this part of the dream) having to wrestle with him outside in a make shift wrestling ring. The wrestler could have EASILY hurt me, but it was all just a game, as in neither of wanted to hurt the other, but there was definitely pride on the line.

We wrestled for a long time. From time to time he would appear to be defeating me, but each time I would out maneuver him. A few times he would over power me, but I was always able to use my small size and quick speed to wiggle my way out of the situation. At one point toward the end of the fight I was even able to get him in a precarious position. I was latched onto his head with all four of my appendages my body covering his face. In this position, I could do nothing toward moving into winning, and yet despite all his strength, he could not throw or pry me from his face. It was an impasse.

At this time Big John called the match a draw and I woke up. In my mind there was verse waiting to interpret the dream. "It is GOD who works everything to his will. So Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God." You won't find that rendering of Phil 2:14-15 in any translation, it was the verse floating in my head.

I offer this dream as a confession and an apology. I have certainly many times, over many years claimed that the work God was doing in me was more valid, or more correct than the work God was doing in others. I have fought "monsters of doctrine" much bigger and stronger than me under the guise of worshiping Jesus, while in reality it was a battle of pride. I have substitute the "pride of the match" for the joy of community.

We are the body of Christ, if the hand thinks the foot's job is unimportant that would just cause a mess. I am committing to honestly celebrating both what I hear the Spirit speaking in my soul, and also to listen to what the Spirit is speaking into others soul. I don't want to wrestle for the sake of pride, instead I want to BE the body of Christ, celebrating the body in every form, that TOGETHER we can shine like stars in the universe.

Barna Groups Thoughts On House Church Revolution

Thom Black from the Barna Group set out to understand the reasons why "church attendance" has dropped by almost 20% in the past decade, and to their surprise discovered it is the not the peripheral members, but the core leaders who are exiting en mass.

I wanted to invite anyone interested in hearing a GREAT summation of my thought process in this transition to listen to his lecture. I am not so arrogant to view myself as a "revolutionary" as he terms those leaving the old institution toward house churches. I just think the reasons his "revolutionaries" are leaving, are the much the same as my own motivations.

Thom Black - Revolutionaries

I Need Africa

My friend Elysa, who we traveled to Swaziland with last January sent me this video.


After watching it, I believe if you have been to Africa you will relate and want the associated T-Shirt! So MochaClub sells it!

Cardinal Drive Exit Letter

I was asked by the leadership at the church where we have been members and served in various leadership roles these past four years to prepare a statement that could be used to explain my exit and my future plans to the membership at Cardinal Drive . For brevity the leadership has decided to excerpt the statement in their presentation of it tomorrow. I let them know that they could direct anyone wishing to read the text of the statement in it's entirety to my blog. I value the many wonderful relationships we have made at Cardinal Drive and wanted to ensure everyone had the opportunity to read the full explanation behind this difficult decision.

January 04, 2009
To: Cardinal Drive Leadership & Members
RE: Resignation of Membership

After much deliberation and prayer I am officially stating our family’s decision to relinquish all leadership and ministry responsibility within the Cardinal Drive family. Christi and I both feel God is calling us to a new stage of ministry that will look different than the model of church most of us here are familiar with.

Taking this step is a very difficult one for me, I LOVE the church, and by the church I mean Cardinal Drive and the other the institutions like her I have been a part of. At her best these churches allow Jesus to shine through to the world. I have seen Cardinal Drive function as the body of Christ, and I have seen her serve as the very hands and feet of Christ.

Unfortunately, in my time here and in previous churches I have been a part of I have also seen the church be divisive, destructive, and down right anti-Christ. I have been deeply troubled seeing people who make large contributions be catered to, over those who have a much greater degree of spiritual maturity, and over those with Biblically authorized church authority. It is a tragedy that people suffering under the weight of marital issues, addictions, and moral compromise have far to often been belittled, dismissed, and abused rather than embraced, mentored, and discipled. Most troubling to my spirit is having repeatedly seen families suffering financially be treated like pariahs because the distressed the homogeneous social network of the organization.

None of these things make me love the church any less. However it does compel me to attempt an objective examination of her model of ministry. This examination has led me to the conclusion that the church's two greatest obstacles are SIZE and FORM. Both of these conclusions have brought our family to the place where we are moving forward to a model that is deeply reflective of the model of church life as seen in Acts, the model of meeting in homes daily. A church that meets "house to house" by nature is small and spry. It can react quickly and effectively to problems (fiscal, emotional, and spiritual) because it's intimacy makes it impossible to hide or to ignore these basic needs in each other. This model by it’s very nature becomes a fiscal, communal, and continual pursuit for it’s members. The close intimacy of the house church becomes a safe place to invite friends who would never fit in at, or otherwise would not attend a traditional church service. The small size and apparent deep relationship relieve the awkward stigma of visiting a church service. For some people outside the social atmosphere of church life the comfort of a home based community is a much more welcoming place to discover the abundant life of freedom in Christ.

Secondly on form, I think our style of stage and audience is destructive to the priesthood of all believers. I myself have been part of the problem where people feel there are those qualified to "DO" God's work, and others who must just support the doers. Another world is possible where Instead EVERY member has a function and each part forms together to benefit the others. A house church meeting looks different where every member becomes a conduit of the Spirit’s leading, and through discernment and mutual edification everyone becomes ministers to and for each other.

I believe the highest calling of the church has nothing to do with our buildings, our staff, or our membership roster. The highest calling of the church has to do with effectively reflecting Jesus, and corporately becoming his physical presence in our circle of influence. I personally feel led to make this calling a reality, so long as God leads us to remain here in Chicagoland, through the intimacy a house church enables.

I want it to be clear that I am not leaving Cardinal Drive out of any anger, malice, or any form of discontentment with any of my brothers or sisters at this church. It has been an honor to worship with you these past four years, and I value the relationships we have formed in many of your lives. I sincerely hope our families can continue to share life together. I am excited for the future of what God is doing at Cardinal Drive, and It is my hope that you are excited about the potential for what God is doing through our decision to plant a small house church that reflects a different model of being the body of Christ.

I do want to reiterate that our family will miss the fellowship we have had in many of your lives, and I want to let you all know that our home and our table is always open. If you want to sit down and talk more about what we are doing, and what this model looks like, we encourage you to come eat with us when you have the time. We serve an amazing God who is doing great things as he reconciles his creation back to himself! Let’s all participate with him in vigor to that cause.

In Christ,
Kevin, Christi and Family!

To anyone at Cardinal Drive who has additional questions or just a desire to talk further about this exciting step we are venturing out on, please feel free to call or email. I love and value each of you, as well as the many who have supported me in this decision through the blogging community.

Lighthouse - A Short Film

If You Miss Me Sunday Morning...

The Good New of God's incarnation among men is easily reduced as system of religion complete with rules, membership rosters, and committees. Adhering to things the group has deemed as good and avoiding those things it has deemed bad provides an easily measured marker for religious health. The frequency of participation in scheduled services and activities is a quantifiable measure to determine religious commitment. Leadership and belonging to a task force assembled to maintain or to expand the prominence of the group easily fills the time slots of one's religious responsibility. In the end the group can judge that because a person does not drink alcohol or visit the boat; because a person attends two services and one activity a week; because a person leads the coffee and donuts ministry and participates in the classroom painting ministry they're a model member in good standing. That member is spiritually healthy.

The problems arise when one realizes that the gospel preached by Jesus is unfit for the spiritually healthy. The Good News of God's Kingdom is left for the bottom feeders and the sick. This poses a dilemma for the religious body since no model of church growth is based on algorithms that attract the sick and broken. Religious success demands a new gospel, one that is quantifiable, one that attracts the kind of members who will support the bottom line and provide the resources necessary to maintain the building and employ the staff. Careful demographics to promote a homogeneous growth attracts the correct target group to increase the prominence, showcase the talent, and achieve results that out perform competing bodies and previous internal numbers.

How did we get here? Why does the current religious climate prevalent in our churches look so different than Jesus' gospel? Who is initially responsible, and what is our responsibility individually to the current situation?

I propose 3 answers that I am pursuing personally.

Answer 1: RECOGNITION THAT THE GOSPEL IS ECONOMIC

Luke 3:10-14 And the crowds asked him, “What then should we do?” In reply he said to them, “Whoever has two coats must share with anyone who has none; and whoever has food must do likewise.” Even tax collectors came to be baptized, and they asked him, “Teacher, what should we do?” He said to them, “Collect no more than the amount prescribed for you.” Soldiers also asked him, “And we, what should we do?” He said to them, “Do not extort money from anyone by threats or false accusation, and be satisfied with your wages.”

When the people of Israel were convicted by the reality that their membership in the right religious circle was of no spiritual value and therefore asked what did have eternal value, John responded with a model of lifestyle that reflected a new economy where food, clothing, and provision were equal among all. John proposed they stop pursuing the quest for more stuff, and instead pursue more satisfaction. John as well as Jesus in his preaching demanded a whole new alignment of our finances, and gospel alignment.

Answer 2: RECOGNITION THAT THE GOSPEL IS COMMUNAL

Mark 12:29-33"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'There is no commandment greater than these."

"Well said, teacher," the man replied. "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."

When tested as to the marker of spiritual health by a religious professional of his day, Jesus responded with an unachievable commission that God's people are to live in a community of complete dependence on His nature that then manifests itself into loving others out of the same surrender each is surrendered to God. That is an all consuming command. That takes a commitment of every hour, and every thought. That takes a commitment of surrendering my rights to God, my rights to the people I am in community with. I am seeking out people and making space to be intentional in vulnerability, dependence, and responsibility. This is God's desire for our relationship with him, and his desire for our relationship with each other. This requires time daily in community with him, and in cooperation with other members of his body, so that we can mutually be Jesus, and experience Jesus in one another.

Answer 3: RECOGNITION THAT THE GOSPEL IS CONTINUAL

Matthew 8:18-22 Now when Jesus saw a crowd around him,he gave orders to go over to the other side. And a scribe came up and said to him, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." Another of the disciples said to him, "Lord, let me first go and bury my father." And Jesus said to him, "Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead."

Jesus reminds these would be disciples, that "Follow Me" is a radical realignment of the entire life structure you had previously known. Your old home is no longer your home, your old family is no longer your family. There is CHRIST and CHRIST ALONE! "Follow Me" is a challenge that requires new senses. My touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing must change so that I can feel the living God, I can experience the sweetness of his work, I can inhale the fragrance of his business, I can respond to the callings he gives. "Follow Me" requires my listening, and responding to the fact that God cares enough to desire every thought of my head be captivated by his majesty. "Follow Me" requires I am continually going alongside God to the places and communities he wants me to be a part of, it requires I am listening to his guidance to what is beneficial and what is harmful to our relationship, it requires I am a part of his Kingdom, working where he directs my hands to be. In short, "Follow Me" requires that I respond to the Holy Spirit in my body, in my mind, and in my spirit.

So that is the answers I am being led to. I am done cleaning the outside of the cup. I am accepting Christ grafted into my Spirit, being changed by His vision of a community of a new economic reality realized through committed following of His Spirit. If you miss me Sunday morning, please know I miss you too. I would love to sit down, share a meal together, and talk about our glorious Lord and where he is calling me, and where he is calling you to be more conformed to his image. If you miss me Sunday morning, know that I am obeying my Lord who demands that my god be CHRIST and CHRIST ALONE.

Being the Body You Were Born For

The classic story of the ugly duckling tells about an abused duckling, who is run off the farm by his friends and his family to live outside his home. This duckling is too different from his peers to be accepted. So he wanders about for a long time, being rejected by crowd after crowd until he finally decides to approach the beautiful swans. The duckling figures that being such a beastly sight these kings of the birds will peck him to death, but instead as he approaches them, he looks into the water to see in his own reflection that he has matured into a beautiful swan as well, and he is accepted and finds peace finally being among his own.

Since my high school years, through college, working in a church, and my time since then, I have always felt like an ugly duckling in church. I relate to being pecked at by the people I thought were family. I am used to being discarded and patronized as a radical who doesn't understand the way things really work. I am thought of as being fringe and crazy. Yet, I can not change because I think the Christian faith IS CRAZY!!! As Andrew Shearman says, " Of course we are crazy, we believe in someone we haven't seen. We follow dreams. Either you're all crazy... or else God is actually trying to do something." I have never been fit in with those who are well domesticated.

The problem is not the people in the institutional church, it is the very institution itself. I had a high school teacher who told us, "institutions are threatened by movements which become institutions that are threatened by movements." The church is an institution, make no mistake it is not a body, it is not a branch of a vine. It is a hierarchical system of power that promotes those that succeed, and goes to war to against those that threaten the power base of the system.

Christ's church is not to be an institution. Christ's church is not to be a movement. Christ's church is not to be a religious system. Hans Kuhn wrote, "Christ came to start a Kingdom and all we gave him was a church" His church was never meant to be anything but the body of Christ on earth. The church when she pretends to be anything other than a body, with Christ as it's head has lost her way and become a family a squabbling pecking domesticated ducks, when she was meant to be a glorious band of swans.

I won't be an ugly duckling anymore, I am the adopted prince of the King of Ages, an heir to Kingdom of Heaven, with all authority given to me to claim a crown of righteousness. There is no place for a swan in the farmers duck pin. I will not be fed the farmers grain, when there is a world of lakes for me to feast in. I will not be kept in a pin, when soaring is my creator's intention. The institution that has replaced the body of Christ feeds people a cheap white bread version of Christianity and keeps them safe in fences of their creeds and doctrines. The duck patch is a safe place for ducklings, but it just won't do for those who want to rise up and seek out the richness of their destiny.

I am going out from here to live out the nature of Christ. I am going to be crushed by the word of God, to have my limited nature wrecked by the magnitude of a limitless God. I am soaring through the skies to hear God speak. I do not want the protection and scholarship of the institution, if it keeps from from being in the heavens of intimacy with my God.

The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand it, we must act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. How would I ever get on in the world? Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church's prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Oh, priceless scholarship, what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. - Soren Kikergard

I believe Andrew Shearman wraps everything I am trying to say up perfectly in the next sentence of the sermon I quoted earlier, "If we decide to actually cooperate with him it will happen" I am finished trying to fit into the duck pin, and ready to cooperate with God, to be a people who reflects his present incarnation on earth.

I will by the grace of God, BE the body I was born for.